Tuesday, 26 August 2014

post mortem

 Once upon a time, there was a girl, and she had this remarkable talent. She could play with demons, and she could play pretty well. She knew their hiding places, every nook and cranny. Because she grew up among those monsters. They were inside her, rotting her being.

 She carried the weight of so many dead worlds , dragging them around like skeletons wherever she went. Shackles, whose grip she could never be free of. Her body was a battlefield , her mind a chaos of lifeless constellations. But what people most oftenly remarked were her eyes : it was as if they were the remnants of a mirror, always reflecting , but never letting anyone to see behind. Therefore, everybody just supposed there was nothing but a void underneath her glare. They ran from her, ran from the truth that restrained her, that bound all of them to a life of misery.

 Humans did this to me. You did this to me. You broke me.

 She suppressed every glimpse of emotion., just so the demons couldn’t reach her. But she couldn’t bring herself to feel either. So she laid in a state of bittersweet numbness, growing more and more estranged of herself.

 But, against all odds, she survived.

Wednesday, 20 August 2014

come undone



când aveam cincisprezece ani
îmi doream să mă dizolv ;
lent, precum o ţigară stingându-se 
pe asfaltul rece,


să suprim tot ce însemnam a fi eu
pentru că cine ar fi acceptat o persoană
care nu se încadra nicaieri
şi care tremura cuvinte prin răni deschise ?

aveam o întreagă lume
trepidând în mine
şi-ar fi trebuit să ştiu
că tu o vei lăsa
să se stingă.

Sunday, 10 August 2014

echoes


 The crashing of waves, it’s woven in my being. The way they hit the cliffs , embracing the rock with a cold, abrupt sound. I think salt and water have mixed up behind my skin, made me a creature of the sea, longing for the grace of the tides.  The echoes inside me never stop ; I’m like a shell rewinding the memory of the greater waters.  I have the entire sea overwhelming me, and this body of mine is too shallow, too small to contain it.  
 My heart beats for the endless depths of blue and shadow and sorrow. The chant of the sea , the seagulls screaming their melancholia , it’s all around me. Whispering in my ear. Maybe that’s why people are drawn to it. Wilderness and harmony merging together, unrestrained. Isn't that what every human being is made of ?  
 The smooth breeze drifted across the sand. At that moment, the sea and the sky were entwined, like they came from the same fabric. Clouds passed silently into the water, floating with the algae, and the waves seem to take over the lonely sky. I deeply inhaled, letting my thoughts pass by, carried away by the salted wind, further and further. 

Thursday, 7 August 2014

i think my void fits yours perfectly



 Şi atunci , sufletul meu l-a recunoscut pe-al tău. Împotriva oricărei raţiuni, era de parcă ne întâlnisem înaintea timpului. Ţi-am simţit inima răsunând a taină şi corzile reverberând frânte. Poate c-am căzut din aceeaşi stea, cine ştie. Altfel cum ai fi putut veni la mine, să mi te înfăţişezi şi să mă faci atât de diferită ?

 Îmi spuneai că sufletul tău era precum un abis, o gaură neagră, iar eu mă prăbuşeam necondiţionat în el. Că învelişurile tale erau brăzdate de cicatrici şi păreri de rău , de răni prin care încă se prelingea sânge. Cu buzele tremurând nestăvilite, m-ai rugat să plec, zicându-mi că nu mai rămăsese nimic din tine.

  Însă am continuat să te iubesc, aşa neîntregit. Ţi-am fost puls când în pustiul tău răzbătea doar o bătaie slabă de inimă. Ţi-am stăvilit ecoul gândurilor.  Ochi înlăcrimaţi la patru dimineaţa, iubiri pierdute , neîmpărtăşite, mărturii ale trecutului, remuşcări. Există rupturi în fiecare din noi. Pe acolo pătrunde lumina.