Wednesday, 14 May 2014

he told me

... that people are more poisonous than cigarettes. he didn't realise he was poison running through my veines, amidst smoke and blood . but i knew .

I must admit, my mind wanders off quite often, leaving me breathless, clinging hopelessly to a grasp of air. But it's okay. I can’t be happy, nor unhappy ; instead, I’m trapped in a state of bittersweet numbness. 

I can’t feel anymore, ‘cause then I’ll feel everything, and everything obviously sucks. Sometimes I think I’m fractioned, with all these pieces of who I once were bonding together to form the person that I am now. I fear that my cracks will gradually show. I fear that I’ll repeat myself, and the history’s going to repeat itself, and who’ll take then care of the void ? You aren’t here anymore, you left a long time ago.

Many times I don’t even feel like myself , because nobody sees me as a whole; but, anyway, my biggest fear is that somebody'll finally see me as I see myself. But, oh, it would feel so damn good to surrender.

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